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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Bar Room Britte Cuts Through the BS




Well, hello there *hic* friends and countrymen.

It's no secret that the weather here in New England and other remote parts of the country has been sucking eggs.
It has left me with some serious cabin fever. I find myself spending more and more time down in the club sipping martinis and playing solitaire to pass the time.

So, I got to thinkin' about this Wilma, and her "wisdom". Then I read Daisy's post revealing a side of  Pearl that we really didn't know about.
So I says to myself, "Self, you know a thing or two about Wilma that the whole world may find surprising".

After slinging back a few, I got the cojone's to go ahead and hijack the blog. Why not? It's just me and a big old computer down here.


 I pretty much had a choice between dropping a random deuce, or hacking into Wilma's account. I chose the latter. Besides, I'm ten, I really don't give a crap what anybody thinks, says, does, or feels anymore.

So here's the dish... Wil would love to have you believe that she is the Oprah Winfrey of pug dogs. The wise, all knowing diva with a heart of gold. Truth be told, Wilma has the ability to be a real jerk sometimes.

Take this past weekend for example. I don't have any photographic evidence, but why would I lie?
We went for a visit to our Great Grammy Mary's house. We hadn't seen her in a while and were very excited when we got there. Once we settled in, Sluggo and I made it a point to spend some quality time with Gram Mary.
Do you think Wilma had the good graces to go over and say hello? The answer is no!
She was too busy demanding ham from Uncle Jimmy. She just stood there and yelled. For God's sake, Uncle George couldn't even go into the kitchen to fix a pot of tea without Wilma following at his heels, scrapping for a treat.
Normally I wouldn't mind her putting on the pressure, because, let's face it. We all benefit when the plate of ham comes out. But, she was such a pest, she ruined it for everyone. Mom and Dad wouldn't let them give us anything!

So unfair.

You would think she would have learned a lesson from her actions, but noooooooo.....

Can you believe, as we were getting ready to leave, I heard her mutter something about not leaving without something besides the cat food in the back yard she snarfed down when we went out for business.
So, you know what she did?!
While everyone was saying their goodbyes, and giving kisses all around, she snuck off into the kitchen, broke into the cupboard, dragged out the cat's kibble and started tearing into the bag.

Unbelievable.

So there you *hic* have it. The *hic* plain truth about Wilma.
 Someone had to tell it.


"Say, looks like we are running low on whippy flavored vodka."*

*Please note, no pugs were harmed in the writing of this post. All liquor bottle contents have been replaced with flavored water for the safety of all involved.


10 comments:

  1. BOL - that was one interesting tell all about Wilma!!! Who knew she had such naughtiness in her (we're dying to know what her trick is to sneaking into the cat food!).

    Pug love from,
    Pearl & Daisy

    Pee-Ess from Pearl: What Daisy said about me was all lies.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my Wilma!!! What DON'T we know!
    Benny & Lily

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  3. That's so funny. We heard that Oprah does the same thing when it comes to food. BOL!

    No pug is perfect. We must accept Wilma for her faults and love her in spite of them.

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  4. Whippy flavored vodka, yummy! Save me a little!

    Your pal, Pip

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  5. WHOA! I had no ideas!! That Wilma is very devious... making us thinks she is all smarts and in the know! Well that changes my thinkings on things about her.

    And as for you my Bridg...... I would say thats you maybe needing an ice pack and some asprins in the mornings.

    (What is it Mum?........ what do you mean I would probably have done exactly what Wilma did while visitings. PFT ok whatever Mum!!! Your embarrassing me!!!!)


    Winston

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  6. Is this life "behind the scenes"? Please tell us more. Were a;l interested now
    love
    tweedles

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  7. "She just stood there and yelled"...."For God's sake..."

    O M G!!! Mom is DYYYYYYYING laughing!!!!!

    Britte...we think you need your own bloggie..."Britte from the Bar and she doesn't give a crap!"

    Friggin HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!! Way to narc out Wilma...we had a feeling she was hiding some turdley behavior!!!!

    Keep the reporting coming!

    Love,
    S-Dog

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  8. Oh Brigitte, I commend you for speaking the truth about Wilma! (But don't tell Wilma I said that) Sometimes you can only take so much before you have to let it all out! I've got your back. I would also like some of that whippy flavored vodka.

    PS Mom still laughs every time she sees that picture of you three at the top of your blog.

    Later!
    Vito

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  9. Wilma is just aloof, that's all! Except when it comes to her Dad, then she usually defrosts just a bit. Anyway if Wilma didn't break into the kibble odds have it that one of the Uncles would have caved before they left anyway. She would do well in business...very assertive!'' But we love her anyway.

    XXXXOOOO

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  10. Uh oh...You went all National Pupquirer on Wilma. Keep it coming! She might give you the business for it, but a girl has to tell it like it is, right?

    Kitty and Coco

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